I’ll just start with the facts. I woke to negative 11 degrees Fahrenheit. I live in the Twin Cities area in Minnesota. I am a Christian of the catholic variety. I am financially well off. And, for the past 2 weeks, I’ve been scrambling for a foothold.
My recent days have been disordered. There is some routine like taking care of my granddaughter, making meals, cleaning the house, going for walks, attending work meetings for my local Master Gardener group; I read my daily scripture and my daily meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC), I go to church and I unintentionally hide from the presence of God.
The “dire news overload of despotism, division, and moral outrage”* that is the reality for Minnesota right now, has sucked the light out of my life. I keep going back to my news resources multiple times a day and get lost in the scroll. I am listening for someone who can stop this unjust madness. I am looking for kindness when the ICE agents (yes even the ICE agents) slip on Minnesota ice. I am searching for understanding; for someone to explain what is happening and how to avoid the pending doom. I am watching for Justice. I am waiting for Mercy. And I hide in my routine and my home.
The news and social media do not sooth my need. When I literally ache with the scariness and sadness of it all, I sooth my mind and body by binging a Netflix series. (Embarrassingly, I’m on season 8 of the Walking Dead and started Veronica Mars too). Anything to take my mind off it all. My husband says “you get in a foul mood”. How can I not? I fluctuate between panic and numbness.
I am scrambling for a foothold. I think my faith and morning “reading ritual” will help me through. But I don’t let myself be calmed. I don’t let myself listen for the Lord’s word. I am not sitting in His presence.
CAC theme for 2026 is Good News for a Fractured World. So, I’ll listen right now for some Good News. The readings today include Mark 2: 18-22 “new wine is poured into fresh skins”. Weird “word” for me to listen to today. What is the message?
Sometimes I just free associate the “word” I hear in scripture. I need new skin. My skin needs to be new so that Jesus’s Way- a new way- can inhabit my being. Skin deep. Skin is the first thing other’s see of us. Skin protects us from the outside. Skin needs care to be healthy. Skin is fragile and strong at the same time. Skin can stretch. Skin has many colors. Most skin has some blemish. Skin bruises easily. Skin will reflect when our insides are sick or unhealthy as well as when our insides are healthy.
In the past 6-12 months, many truths have soaked into my being. One truth is that God is with us, here and now. “For the darkness is passing away, and the true light is already shining” 1John 2. Even my panic, even my foul moods, all of my weakness do not impede the light. Remembering this truth requires daily (or even several times a day) quiet to listen. Then he can pour his spirit into me, Into my new, more resilient skin.
His spirit provides me calm confidence even in the darkness .
Jesus, today, I want to move my feet onto your path (again); to stop scrambling for a foothold in the surrounding morass. Once on your path, grasp my hand (again)to lead me to develop new habits and to be part of your light in these dark times.
* quote from CAC excerpt 12/30/25 by Carmen Acevedo Butcher
Seeking The Light 